Time changes

things. More times than you would actually know. That is my epiphany tonight. I've always acknowledged the idea of "things never being the same" as one of the wonderful gifts God blesses us with. It hit me again tonight, just right now... that time does change things. It isn't something to be afraid of but something to hold tight and never want to let go. Again, I find myself going back and forth with you. I really don't know what it is - maybe it was just a phase. Maybe you were just a phase. A good one, of course. One that taught me lessons about life and definitely opened new doors and ways of thinking to my world. Earlier this week, I kinda got the feeling of being "used" by you. I hated it. But as soon as I noticed myself thinking that way, I forced the thought out and only pictured the good. At least, tried to. I guess this is where my fantasy meets my morals. And trust me, the two aren't getting along too well. My desire to want you and to let you in my life in that way totally would contradict the way I've always lived my life. I open my eyes, not my legs. Fantasy has me by the rope, but my morals just keep on knockin. I know you aren't that type to either... especially with your background - or lack there of. [: Which! By the way, is verryyy attractive. I guess it's just the thought of it. I want to, but I just can't. I feel like I'd have to actually fall for you, to let you get on that level with me. But I haven't fallen [that hard] for you... yet? Ew. ahah I don't know. My mind's goin off on tangents I can't think. You said you wanted to hang out later today but this was on Tuesday or was it Sunday? I think Tuesday, but whatever. Anyway... it's Friday. And you haven't mentioned it since the first time. However, you did actually call me last night/this morning. That was cute. Ugh! Forget this. I'm sleepy. We'll see how the next few days go and hopefully I'm not in this pickle anymore. Goodnight all!