Something from a book

So just a few moments ago, I asked my mom if I could sleep over my cousin, Aileen's house because for one thing, it's her little sister's birthday today, Arleen and there's still debut practice tomorrow at like 330, so it makes sense for me to ask, doesn't i? Just to save some gas instead of driving to Cerritos and then back the next day... especially with my beast of a car named, Dwayne. Her response, an automatic "No. Your Tita Nimfa [Aileen & Arleen's mom] doesn't want you to sleep over there. No." Uh. okay, what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? What the fuck am I supposed to think about that? I stayed there in front of her for a little longer forcing myself to move but not. I went to my room and decided to blog this. What is that though?! Seriously?! I'm thinking about my track record for the past 2 years or so and I can't think of anything I've done wrong for my Tita to not want me to sleep over. I can't think of anything she could disagree with for that matter. I haven't even hung out with my cousins in what.... 3 years?! I see them, lets say 4 to 5 times a year plus or minus some. I don't see any reason for her not to want me to sleep over. So now I'm trying to put the pieces together. My mom hasn't seen her mom who lives with Aileen and Arleen for a really long time now. Why? I have no clue. Last time was what? Christmas or New Years? Maybe March for her birthday. And if you really think about it, why would my mom respond to me like that. A straight up, "no your tita nimfa doesn't want you to sleep over there." I didn't even ask why I couldn't sleep over there. A simple "No" would've been fine. Okay, and I know for damn sure that my mom and Tita Nimfa don't talk. They hated each other once before taking the family to be in one of the many family feuds/separations in my childhood years. Is that happening again? Is my mom hating on her own side again? Does my mom have something against them that I don't know about? Something against her mom? Something she might disagree with? Something? Another one of her issues that she doesn't want to take responsibility for so she points fingers and make it seem like I did something wrong just because I probably "won't know any better". This is stupid and it totally killed my mood. I wish my sister were here or someone I could go and talk to about it. But of course... no one is. I swear, this is freaking retarded. Cause now I feel like there's more pressure on me. and now I'm stuck trying to think of a reason why Tita Nimfa wouldn't want me to sleep over, it's not like I force her two kids to do shit. So am I a bad influence? No one knows what I do. No one knows what I did. So what the hell? What the hell did I do wrong this time?


As close as my family is and as much as I may love them - shits fucking retarded and everyone needs to grow the fuck up because this whole "holding grudges bullshit" is gonna end with them, the older generation. And I'm getting pretty damn sick and tired of them thinking nothing except "what goes on with the adults shouldn't affect you and the cousins." Honestly? Every part of that sentence proves how ignorant each one of them can be. And THAT is an embarrassment.