It isn't a front, it's a proven fact

I never thought this stage of my life would come. I never thought I could listen to love songs and our songs and not reminisce of what used to be. I never thought that I could sleep peacefully at night without thinking of you. I never thought that I could be happy and not front. I never thought that all the problems would go away. I never thought that I could smile and not cry because you hurt me. I never thought that I wouldn't feel responsible for the things that you do. I never thought that I could stop caring until I actually did. I never thought that I would forget that you cheated on me and did me dirty all those times, until someone actually brought you up. I never thought that I could not look at your myspace or your screen name until it just didn't matter to me anymore. I never thought that I could talk about you in a normal conversation and not be angry.

It isn't a front, it's proven fact. You've introduced me to a different kind of happiness. One, that I don't think anyone else could have illustrated better than you. I kept silent thinking I was happy, but until I was sure of it and sure that I wouldn't fall back, I can honestly tell you that I am. I'm not just content anymore.

Nyl, I'm genuinely happy.

I hope you will be too, someday if you aren't already.

Random thoughts of direction.

Not down to be fake. Not down to cause drama. Not down to get attached. Not down to be angry. Not down to be sad. Not down. Hold your ground. Don't let it phase you. Respect their opinion, not necessarily them. Don't let it affect you, it's not your business. It's not your life-style. Rid of all the negative. Rid of all the unnecessary. Rid of all the disrespect. Rid of everything that might bring you down. Respect it. Deal with it. Grow from it. Don't cover. Don't lie. Don't front. Be you. Hope others respect your decision. Hope others know the limit. Tolerance. Be better. Above the Influence. Be smart. Open your eyes, NOT your legs. Respect yourself. Other's will too. Don't know you well enough for me to like you.

"Happy 3 years and 2 months". (:
from me to you.

I like it because, not.

Okay, so I'm not gonna lie, things are going a little smoother than I had expected. We've got this connection, this type love that can't be broken. We've accepted the people that we've become and I can seriously only hope that this new friendship going on won't be built on lies, shady and all that dirty. I like it. I like it because I feel strong when I talk to you, not weak. I like it because I can keep my composer, not break down. I like it because instead of my heart hurting for days, it hurts for minutes. I like it because I'm happy, not depressed. I like it because I had you first, not second or third. I like it because I know you'll always be mine deep down inside, not hers. I like it because you're starting to really talk to me, not shut me out. I like it because we're on the road of respecting each other, not take one another for granted. I like it because you make it easier, not harder. I like it because you make me want to live, not die. I like it because you make my life interesting, not boring. I like it because the pages are filling up, and not left blank. I like it. I really do. I'm totally ready for summer <3

New beginning, New blog

So I decided to start another blogger. I thought, 'new beginning? new blog.' Who knows where this blogger is going to take me, but I can only hope that it's somewhere positive. Grad week had just completely ended tonight. One of the best weeks of my life, I must admit. Tuesday - Last day of school & balloon let go. Senior vs. Faculty basketball game with Seniors '08 taking the victory. Plus Tom's kickback. Wednesday - Senior Awards Assembly. Senior Luau where there were no interruptions on the styles of dancing. Thursday - Nothing but the greatest Grad Night ever! Shit was too bomb to put into words. Rave Room (: Friday - Came home at 730am, stayed in bed without moving except to go pee until 430. Graduation! Still up and running without any sleep :D Stayed up until 11, had 40 hours of nonstop fun ;] It's summa time baby! Over the highschool drama mamas... all of them! Life is becoming more bearable, I love it ! FUCKIT baby! Tryna make it the best most, AMAAAZING summer as possible <333 with a hint of excellence, a teaspoon of butterflies, a bag full of family and homies and a millon doses of partying (((((: